68.

who occasionally come, no longer enjoy the 100% freedom we had dreamed for them. They must limit their movements to certain areas of our (luckily) large property, and if they wish to see the show at night they must do so in the attire approved by socienty. Sorry, but it had to be.

Perhaps, after Labor Day, when the season is over I might go back to my original idea of "week-ends only" for TVs. I have come to believe that those long phone con- versations and fiery letters were just another way to live out a transvestic desire without any real wish to carry out the feeling into fact.

Interesting observation drawn from personal contact with TVs and other unconventionals------the only ones who are not ashamed to admit their true feelings are the gay ones. TVs hem and haw and appear so terribly uncomfort- able that they make any potential understanding from out- siders a very difficult thing. What is it about being a TV that causes such intense feelings of shame and self- approach? A man will feel much more at ease admitting he's a chiseler, a fraud, a hen-pecked husband, a liar, a bum or a Communist than to admit he likes to wear wom- en's clothes. I guess the problem has extremely deep roots in the basic mores upon which our entire American society is founded and there isn't much we can do to accelerate the development of a different social attitude from the conventionals towards our group. (((ED NOTE: It is ironical that it is supposedly the fear of being con- sidered a sissy which, in adult minds is about equiv- alent to being gay, that restrains TVs from revealing their activities and yet those who are actually gay have much less inhibitions. This may be due to the fact that homosexuality is by nature a 2-person activ- ity and therefore to accomplish it revelation to some- one else is necessary whereas TVism is essentially a feeling within one's self that has been suppressed since childhood when sissiness was scorned but when it was also a 1-person pattern and not joint. It is sad that this juvenile holdover exists--it is constrictive.)))